Saturday's Child
This is my first official blog. I've always wanted to try it, and now here I am. A new year, a new adventure.
I turned 48 a few days ago. I'm not worried about age, although the closer I get to 50 the more incredulous I am. What have I done with all of these years, all of this time? I know that I have had some accomplishments in life. I am a professional. I have a career. I have my own home. I am in the best, most emotionally satisfying relationship in my life, and I'm a lover of learning. I have my issues and hang-ups like anyone else. I'm working on them. Working on myself. Sometimes I do it very well, sometimes not at all, but I'm still trying. I'm in there, in the arena, in the world trying to live a worthwhile, satisfying and fullfilling life.
The name of this blog, "niño de sábado" means "Saturday's Child" in spanish. I started studying spanish about three years ago. I took two semesters at UCLA, and a few semesters at the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute. Why am I studying spanish? Well, it started off because I had a boyfriend who spoke spanish and we would watch his favorite novela together, "Gata Salvaje." I liked watching it, and decided to study spanish so he wouldn't have to translate for me. Well, he's long gone but the spanish is still a part of my life.
I read in a newspaper article that one of the best ways to fight aging is to learn a new language because it stimulates new parts of the brain. Fantastic! I was already doing it, and Lord knows my brain needs some stimulation. Also, I enjoy it. It is something that is completely unrelated to my career. I don't have to do it for any reason other than I WANT TO. I find that completely liberating and exciting. Going to school when you don't have to is very enjoyable. So far, I've earned A's in all my classes, but it's been one year since I took Spanish 2 at UCLA(I had to leave the country for work and other distractions kept me away.) It was a very challenging course that spanned six chapters in the text book, so I'm going to repeat that course for no grade starting on Monday.
I'm also taking a screenwriting course this semester, and a different screenwriting workshop in February, both at UCLA. This summer I took a course in Memoir Writing taught by Professor Michael Datcher. It was interesting and I enjoyed learning a new way to write. I also took a workshop this fall with Jack Grapes, a reknowned writing instructor here in L.A. His workshop was cool, challenging and sometimes irritating. I'm trying to decide if I should take it again, since my plate is pretty full this semester, but I think I will. Give it another go. Why not? There is always something new to learn, perhaps someone new to meet, something that will inspire and make me grow. In a way, it seems I'm designing my own masters program by taking all of these different classes. That's exciting. I like looking at it that way.
I never went to school for writing. I studied acting in college, and had dreams of being a big star. I grew weary of that dream, but I love the arts, and being creative, this is what lead to my writing career. It used to be so dazzling to me. The mere fact that I was working on soundstages was absolutely magical. Unfortunately, the power of that magic has dimmed lately. I have very little desire to continue doing what I've already done. Maybe it's because my last job was such a degrading experience. I dont' know... But I do know that everything happens for a reason. So, I've reached this roadblock. I believe that means there is something new out there for me. I just have to focus on a new direction and go for it. I do worry that I need to generate income, but that can't be my only reason for working. In order to be creative, I need to feel inspired and excited about what I am doing, otherwise I feel what I produce is shit. So I'm in the process of searching my soul. Trying to find out what really excites me, so I can move forward with the gusto that made me a success up until this point.
My partner and I are also trying to have a baby through surrogacy. It's been a long, arduous and tragic process. We were pregnant last year, but our baby died at 21 weeks. I was devestated. I still don't think I've gotten over it. My summer vanished like cigarette smoke. Or should I say, marijuana smoke. I've felt parylized for months, with little patches of hope and activity. Things are getting better though. And we will try again. I will try and document it here in this blog. I haven't been able to write about losing our baby girl, Joss, on May 27th, 2005. Not yet. I will write about it one day, perhaps when I understand it, or maybe writing will help me understand it. I don't know. Right now, it's still a very sensitive scab that I am wary of picking.
In any case, I titled this blog, "niño de sábado" because I was born on a Saturday. According to the song, "saturdays' child works hard for a living." Why, why did I have to chose Saturday? I've often wondered...
I turned 48 a few days ago. I'm not worried about age, although the closer I get to 50 the more incredulous I am. What have I done with all of these years, all of this time? I know that I have had some accomplishments in life. I am a professional. I have a career. I have my own home. I am in the best, most emotionally satisfying relationship in my life, and I'm a lover of learning. I have my issues and hang-ups like anyone else. I'm working on them. Working on myself. Sometimes I do it very well, sometimes not at all, but I'm still trying. I'm in there, in the arena, in the world trying to live a worthwhile, satisfying and fullfilling life.
The name of this blog, "niño de sábado" means "Saturday's Child" in spanish. I started studying spanish about three years ago. I took two semesters at UCLA, and a few semesters at the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute. Why am I studying spanish? Well, it started off because I had a boyfriend who spoke spanish and we would watch his favorite novela together, "Gata Salvaje." I liked watching it, and decided to study spanish so he wouldn't have to translate for me. Well, he's long gone but the spanish is still a part of my life.
I read in a newspaper article that one of the best ways to fight aging is to learn a new language because it stimulates new parts of the brain. Fantastic! I was already doing it, and Lord knows my brain needs some stimulation. Also, I enjoy it. It is something that is completely unrelated to my career. I don't have to do it for any reason other than I WANT TO. I find that completely liberating and exciting. Going to school when you don't have to is very enjoyable. So far, I've earned A's in all my classes, but it's been one year since I took Spanish 2 at UCLA(I had to leave the country for work and other distractions kept me away.) It was a very challenging course that spanned six chapters in the text book, so I'm going to repeat that course for no grade starting on Monday.
I'm also taking a screenwriting course this semester, and a different screenwriting workshop in February, both at UCLA. This summer I took a course in Memoir Writing taught by Professor Michael Datcher. It was interesting and I enjoyed learning a new way to write. I also took a workshop this fall with Jack Grapes, a reknowned writing instructor here in L.A. His workshop was cool, challenging and sometimes irritating. I'm trying to decide if I should take it again, since my plate is pretty full this semester, but I think I will. Give it another go. Why not? There is always something new to learn, perhaps someone new to meet, something that will inspire and make me grow. In a way, it seems I'm designing my own masters program by taking all of these different classes. That's exciting. I like looking at it that way.
I never went to school for writing. I studied acting in college, and had dreams of being a big star. I grew weary of that dream, but I love the arts, and being creative, this is what lead to my writing career. It used to be so dazzling to me. The mere fact that I was working on soundstages was absolutely magical. Unfortunately, the power of that magic has dimmed lately. I have very little desire to continue doing what I've already done. Maybe it's because my last job was such a degrading experience. I dont' know... But I do know that everything happens for a reason. So, I've reached this roadblock. I believe that means there is something new out there for me. I just have to focus on a new direction and go for it. I do worry that I need to generate income, but that can't be my only reason for working. In order to be creative, I need to feel inspired and excited about what I am doing, otherwise I feel what I produce is shit. So I'm in the process of searching my soul. Trying to find out what really excites me, so I can move forward with the gusto that made me a success up until this point.
My partner and I are also trying to have a baby through surrogacy. It's been a long, arduous and tragic process. We were pregnant last year, but our baby died at 21 weeks. I was devestated. I still don't think I've gotten over it. My summer vanished like cigarette smoke. Or should I say, marijuana smoke. I've felt parylized for months, with little patches of hope and activity. Things are getting better though. And we will try again. I will try and document it here in this blog. I haven't been able to write about losing our baby girl, Joss, on May 27th, 2005. Not yet. I will write about it one day, perhaps when I understand it, or maybe writing will help me understand it. I don't know. Right now, it's still a very sensitive scab that I am wary of picking.
In any case, I titled this blog, "niño de sábado" because I was born on a Saturday. According to the song, "saturdays' child works hard for a living." Why, why did I have to chose Saturday? I've often wondered...
posted by chyman | 12:39 PM
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