THE CLOSER

TNT has a new series, well, it's not brand new, it premiered over the summer when I was shall we say, out of service, so I missed the entire run. This winter they started an encore run of THE CLOSER and it is my favorite new show on television.

THE CLOSER is a drama (although sometimes it's hella funny, too) starring Kyra Sedgwick as offbeat, tough-as-nails homicide investigator Brenda Johnson. Brenda is from Atlanta, but moves to California to head up a special unit of the Los Angeles Police Department that handles high-profile murder cases. Brenda is tapped to lead the unit because she is a world class interrogator, and when it comes to obtaining confessions, she is a closer - hence the title, y'all!

I fell in love with this character in the first scene of the first episode when one of the macho detectives she's assigned to work with calls her a bitch and she replies cooly, "If I put up with being called a bitch to my face, I'd still be married." I whooped it up when I heard this, and Brenda Johnson has had my full attention ever since.

Brenda is incharge of the unit which is filled with resentful men, who hate working for a woman. In this sense the show reminds me of the great British series PRIME SUSPECT, starring Helen Mirren. Yet, Brenda is a whole 'nother animal. She is a southern belle made out of titanium. She dishes it out, then follows up with the sweetest "Thank kwue!" in her best magnolia & Southern Comfort accent. She's a fish out of water in Los Angeles, always struggling to find her way around with a Thomas Guide. She's constantly tempted to eat junk food, and is the worst housekeeper this side of Rosanne Arnold. I love her!

Brenda is teamed with Corey Reynolds as Sgt. David Gabriel, a young African-American who grows to respect Brenda as he witnesses her skill and tenacity. Corey was a Tony Nominee for HAIRSPRAY on Broadway. His performance is cool and professional, and the way he plays off Sedgwick makes them a memorable team.

JK Simmons plays Brenda's boss, and although he is good in the role, I can't help recalling the bullying/rapist/Nazi he played for years on OZ. He still gives me the creeps.

THE CLOSER did great in it's first run on TNT, setting a record of 7 million viewers on it's debut. Where the hell was I? Me no know, but I know now. THE CLOSER is one of the best shows on television. Do yourself a favor and ch-ch-check it out!

Okay, here we go 'yall! American Idol weekend wraaaaaaaaaaap up! The show wasn't great this week. I still spend most of my time wondering how these people even made it to Hollywood, but there were some stand out performances and some stand-out stinkers. Let's start with the stinkers, they're way more fun.


¡ADIOS, PROSTITUTA!
Lately, when I arrive at my Tuesday morning spanish class, my teacher Laura and I spend a few minutes talking about American Idol. Laura called Brenna "Prostituta" because of the way she constantly poses and flaunts her body. She had me ROTFL when she imitated her. And now she's gone. And DAMMIT, she deserved to go. She can't sing! Her voice is so less than ordinary.
She also made a cardinal mistake by chosing to sing LAST DANCE, because it become prophetic. Just like a few years ago when one of the forgotten Black guys sang YOU CAN'T WIN from THE WIZ. He got voted off the next night, and had to sing YOU CAN'T WIN again, and all I could do is nod and think, "Well, I guess you're right." Same thing with Prostituta, as she sang, "Last dance, last chance," I just nodded my head thinking, "Well, I guess you're right."

Brenna had the nerve to give a shout out to Clive Davis telling him to call her so they can make some money. I guess she must think Clive is peddling flesh now, because the only way Prostituta is going to make money with that throat is by... well, this is a family blog so I won't get graphic but y'all know what I'm talking about.

Buh-bye HEATHER COX
I'm sorry to see Heather Cox go, because my partner and I had so much fun making jokes about her name whenever she sang. Stupid jokes like, "If Heather Cox married the brother of exotic dancer Dita Von Teese, she'd be Heather Cox Teese!" LOL, so they're corny, so what, we're stupid that way!
Anywho, Heather had the nerve to try to sing Mariah's HERO. Let's put it this way, by the end of the song she needed one. And DAMMIT, she deserved to go! The sad part is she thought she sounded good. Hopefully, she recanted after she saw the show on tape. If not, she's got a tin ear and better go into business with Prostituta - I hear they've got openings at the Chicken Ranch.

Sayanara Fake-ass Sinatra!
This kid is one of the archtypes the judges feel compelled to bring to the finals every year. Some schmuck who croons like Sinatra, Harry Connick or Michael Buble. Poor kid, David is only seventeen, and he has this goofy grin (probably because his two front teeth are off center and he could use some serious time with a top orthodontist) but his voice has so much vibrato and his demeanor is so dorky that DAMMIT he deserved to go!

SWAY THATAWAY
I must admit, I had a soft spot for this little guapito who goes by the name Sway. But somewhere along the way, he lost his swagger. Beside not being able to control that sweet falsetto, he also appeared uncomfortable and nervous during his performances. His eyes kept shifting away from the camera, making me wonder what he was looking at - if it was so interesting, I wanted to see it, too! I think Sway has a nice voice, but this stage fright and knack for picking songs that he can't conquer makes me have to say - DAMMIT, he deserved to go!

But in my heart, Kevin aka Chicken Little deserved to go more. I'll just have to wait until next week for the sky to fall and hit him on the head.

THE BEST OF THE REST!

ELLIOT is wicked smooth. He was outstanding singing James Moody's "MOODY'S MOOD FOR LOVE." He repected the song, yet made it his own. His voice is full, strong, cool and made for Quiet Storm radio airplay. He seems pretty level headed too (although, he should go along with David to the nearest orthodontist.) I could see Elliot go all the way to the top three, he's just that fresh.


CHRIS has got it going on. He sang some rock song that I've never heard of because I'm not a big fan of hard rock music, but a great singer is a great singer and this little piggy has CHOPS! Simon was right when he pointed out that he was the guy to beat because he's current and you can see him being on the charts and filling stadiums. His voice and his stage demeanor are way out ahead of the rest. And to top it all off, he seems like a caring family man. What more could you ask for?

Well, these guys were the best of the week to me. Let's home more people make the list next week when the final 12 are finally announced and the show moves from that claustrophobic studio onto the big stage.

OH YEAH, ONE MO' THANG!

This crazy dude, SHANE from SURVIVOR is our neighbor! My partner and I were driving down the hill the other day when we saw him. I stopped the car, and said, "Hey Survivor!" He came over to the window and I almost called him a "crazy motherf*cka!" to his face! But I restrained myself.
He was a total 3 pack-a-day nicotine addict when he arrived on the island, and had to go cold turkey. He has been tweaking ever since on the show. Acting a Primetime Fool! And so, when we saw him on the street, I asked him if he quit smoking? He grinned sheepishly and held up a pack of Malboros that he had just picked up from the store. He's back on the filter. What a shame. He really is a lunatic, but he makes great TV!

I gotz ta go. Y'all come back now, hear?